The Only Way To Do Something New … Is To Start.

This morning, I meditated. Well. Actually, I squirmed, fidgeted, thought about elephants and how they use their trunks, Donald Trump, how a nebula is formed, Einstein’s crazy mustache and that picture of him sticking out his tongue, how my knee hurts, what a knee replacement will feel like, how does scar tissue form, why would someone tell me years ago that cats don’t snore, why can’t wolves move their eyebrows, where is Sue the T-Rex being exhibited and a host of other things. And that was in the first 5 minutes. The good news is: I meditated.

This is how it always is for me, using Transcendental Meditation. Since I am familiar with meditation, and I actually deeply enjoy it, it’s like using muscle memory to return to it. When Donald Trump entered into my consciousness, I took a deep breath, feeling grateful for the mantra. It calmed me immediately. Because I have meditated before, I knew this would happen. What I didn’t know is that the work I’ve done since Boulder Crest Retreat would help me to be gentle with Donald, with Einstein’s crazy mustache, with the person who told me cats don’t snore (because mine do), with the wonderings about nebulas, all the other things, and with myself. I didn’t get frustrated this morning. Instead, I softened, kind of smiled, and turned back to the mantra.

Not long after returning from Boulder Crest, I read that meditation with a mantra is like an elephant walking through a bazaar. Elephants learn about the environment around them by using their trunks. If one were to go through a bazaar, it wouldn’t get very far because there would be so much to investigate. Give the elephant a log to carry with its trunk, and it would no longer need to explore, and would continue on through the bazaar in a more direct way. So it is with the curious mind and a mantra.

Since I am so fond of elephants, this resonated with me. Of course it was one of the first things that bubbled up in meditation; that’s ok. It’s all ok, really. It’s a practice. My next meditation will have other thoughts enter to have a cup of tea. I no longer feel rigidity around meditation. I no longer worry about doing it right, or what the rules might be for this particular discipline, or if my posture is correct. In fact, when I meditate, I almost fold in on myself, relaxed and comforted. When I meditate, I am almost Home. Sometimes, I actually do have a glimpse of Home. As I understand it, this isn’t common. When those moments arrive, I appreciate them all the more.

Part of my practice has always been to express gratitude after the soft bell rings. At first it’s naming things. Then it moves into feeling the feelings. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I enter the Buzz. Sometimes, not often, I disappear. I find that meditation sometimes opens the door to the Presence. Most often not, but I like to leave flowers at the door anyway.

My TM teacher suggested that I not use an app or sound or anything to assist me in my meditation. I tried that for a long time. For me, it’s very helpful to use a meditation timer, (I use Insight Timer on my phone which does that and so much more – for free!) and a background sound. I’ve decided that whatever works is what I’ll do because all the roads to Home are good roads. I’ll still benefit from the practice.

In keeping with TM though, I meditate twice a day. It’s time for me to meditate. Perhaps if Donald shows up this time, I’ll offer him a seat and a lovely cup of tea.